When a partner has experienced childhood abuse, the effects often extend beyond the individual. Without always realising it, their partner may begin to shape themselves around the trauma — avoiding potential triggers, walking on eggshells, or suppressing emotional and sexual expression in an effort to keep the peace.

Over time, this relational dynamic can lead to symptoms that resemble trauma in the partner who was not directly victimised: hyper-vigilance, emotional shutdown, increased anxiety, or a loss of relational identity. These partners become secondary victims — impacted not through direct abuse, but through prolonged exposure to trauma’s ongoing imprint in the relationship.

In this clinically focused webinar, we’ll explore how to identify, name, and work with these dynamics in couples therapy, with particular care for how to support both partners without reinforcing shame or blame.

• How childhood abuse shapes relational patterns in adult partnerships
• What it means to be a secondary victim — and how this differs from vicarious trauma
• Common behavioural and emotional adaptations in partners (e.g. hyper-vigilance, avoidance, sexual withdrawal)
• How to bring psychoeducation into the room to reduce shame and increase mutual understanding
• Ways to support couples in honest, safe communication around trauma
• Approaches to restore intimacy and co-regulation in relationships impacted by early abuse
• How to name and work with these dynamics without positioning one partner as the problem