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Between Sessions Series

Episode 5: Neutrality Doesn’t Mean Colluding with Bad Behaviour

Between Sessions is a free video series for therapists, short, reflective conversations designed to fit into the quieter moments between clients.

In each episode, Karen Murphy explores the real complexities of couples work, offering grounded clinical reflections rather than quick fixes or rigid techniques.

This episode focuses on one of the most misunderstood aspects of couples therapy: neutrality.

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Press play below and settle in for a thoughtful break between sessions.

What this episode explores

What does it really mean to be neutral in couples therapy, and what doesn’t it mean?

In this episode, Karen unpacks a common misconception: that neutrality means avoiding difficult conversations or failing to name harmful behaviour. She makes it clear that neutrality is not passive, and it certainly isn’t collusion.

You’ll hear reflections on:

  • Why neutrality is often misunderstood as “watering down” the work
  • How to clearly name problematic behaviour without taking sides
  • Why most couples arrive wanting a better relationship, and how that matters clinically
  • How curiosity helps us explore behaviour without triggering defensiveness
  • The difference between ineffective coping strategies and more rigid, characterological patterns
  • How neutrality supports clarity, empowerment, and choice for both partners

This is a thoughtful exploration of how to hold accountability and compassion at the same time, without slipping into blame.

Want to go deeper?
Click here to download the full video transcriptClick here to download a summary + key insights
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Missed a previous episode?

You can revisit earlier videos in the Between Sessions series any time.

Episode 4 – The Four Cornerstones of the First Session: How do you ensure a couple comes back after their first session?
In this episode, Karen Murphy shares the foundations that shape every successful first session with a couple, and how to create the kind of therapeutic space that helps clients feel safe, met, and ready to return.

Watch Episode 4
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