Description
Working with Conflict: Developing a Relational Stance in Couples Therapy
Meeting Conflict with Clarity and Steadiness
Conflict is one of the areas therapists most often feel unsure about in couples therapy. Whether you are newer to couples work, already established in the field, or considering whether this is an area you want to move into, the question often remains the same:
“How do I work with conflict when it becomes activated in the room?”
In this webinar, Karen Murphy explores conflict not simply as disagreement, but as something that emerges when partners become dysregulated, defended, and caught in protective strategies they struggle to step out of. Through a relational lens, she shows how couples can become trapped in patterns of blame, criticism, withdrawal, resentment, and hurt — even when what they want most is closeness.
The training offers a grounded way of understanding what is happening underneath the conflict, with particular attention to vulnerability, survival strategies, and the cycle that develops between partners. Karen also explores the role of the therapist: how we stay steady, how we avoid being pulled into the conflict, and how neutrality, strong leadership, and attunement can help create the conditions for movement.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to understand conflict in couples therapy through a relational lens
- Why couples become caught in repetitive patterns they cannot easily move out of
- The role of vulnerability and self-protective survival strategies in conflict
- How one partner’s protection can activate the other partner’s vulnerability
- Why neutrality is active, grounded, and essential in conflict work
- Why safety must always come before neutrality
- How strong therapeutic leadership supports high-conflict couples
- Why therapist attunement is one of the most powerful tools for regulation
- How to stay curious about protection, even when behaviour appears confronting or harmful
- How to support couples without rushing too quickly into techniques or solutions
About Karen Murphy
Karen founded the Institute of Couples Therapy, driven by her passion and commitment to this field. She dedicates herself to finding the most effective and relational ways to help couples find routes out of their difficulties. She has over a decade of experience as a psychotherapist and is also an accredited supervisor.
