What this episode explores
What does it really mean to be neutral in couples therapy, and what doesn’t it mean?
In this episode, Karen unpacks a common misconception: that neutrality means avoiding difficult conversations or failing to name harmful behaviour. She makes it clear that neutrality is not passive, and it certainly isn’t collusion.
You’ll hear reflections on:
- Why neutrality is often misunderstood as “watering down” the work
- How to clearly name problematic behaviour without taking sides
- Why most couples arrive wanting a better relationship, and how that matters clinically
- How curiosity helps us explore behaviour without triggering defensiveness
- The difference between ineffective coping strategies and more rigid, characterological patterns
- How neutrality supports clarity, empowerment, and choice for both partners
This is a thoughtful exploration of how to hold accountability and compassion at the same time, without slipping into blame.
Share with a colleague or friend
Missed a previous episode?
You can revisit earlier videos in the Between Sessions series any time.
Episode 4 – The Four Cornerstones of the First Session: How do you ensure a couple comes back after their first session?
In this episode, Karen Murphy shares the foundations that shape every successful first session with a couple, and how to create the kind of therapeutic space that helps clients feel safe, met, and ready to return.